Assertiveness is the inclination to boldly or confidently assert oneself and be self-assured. This article is written keeping in mind all those who find their heart racing whenever they have to stand up for what they believe is right. It is for those who experience butterflies in the stomach when they come face-to-face with an instance that required them to say NO.
In this blog, I give you 3 basic pointers that will show how you can be assertive in a diplomatic manner and gain the respect of those you interact with on a daily basis.
1. Know When:
Knowing when to be assertive takes you a step closer towards where you want to be. This means that there are various instances when you would be able to accommodate the demands or requests of others when they ask for your time, effort or other vital resources. Ask yourself, “Will the extra amount of effort I put in affect me adversely or dampen my productivity?” If the answer is yes, you will need to think about whether you can prioritize your own tasks. If your answer to this is a no, you just have to prepare yourself to assert yourself and gently turn down the request.
2. Know How:
Knowing how to assert can be brought to near-perfection with practise. Take a deep breath and give the request a second thought. While speaking, ensure that your voice is calm and that your tone is not aggressive. Keep your body language stiff. Cut to the chase – once you say no, appear empathetic if you must. But do not wriggle out of the uncomfortable situation with a meek “maybe” as a final answer. This sends confused signals to the receiver, and the whole exercise of assertiveness proves to be futile.
This maybe difficult at first, but with practise you will get better. The best method is to practise in front of the mirror for about a minute or two before you start the day. You can even practise with the help of a close friend. In this way, you would be able to be assertive even if taken by surprise, which normally is the case.
3. Know Why:
Last, but definitely not the least, knowing why you are being assertive is an important confidence booster and image enhancer. By being assertive the right way, you are only asking for fair and equal treatment. On the other side, you should understand that it is appropriate for you to be assertive ONLY if you believe that the request would unfairly consume your resources.
Now that you have read the above 3 points, internalize the ideas and apply them. Being more assertive helps increase your circle of influence, and if done correctly, can take you to heights that you had only dreamt of till now. For more ideas on assertiveness, visit our free power point presentation on Conflict Resolution.