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Our two year old daughter loves the pastries at the newly opened pastry shop. Their pastries were beyond doubt, the best and the customer service was remarkably good; kind service staff, with that endless, beaming smile and the smell of freshly baked bread as soon as you enter the doorway. I’d walk a mile just to taste their delightfully soft ‘melt in your mouth’ pastries.

We visited them often as the shop didn’t provide home delivery for purchase values that were below a certain amount of money and our purchases were never of high value. However, the service staff would offer our daughter freebies like their special pastry of the day or would carry her around, with our permission of course, and let her play around.

“Here is a simple but powerful rule: always give people more than what they expect to get.” – Nelson Boswell

Over time, our visits became less frequent but the pastry guys were not willing to give up. Immaterial of the value of our purchase, we were offered home delivery at no extra charge. When we asked them why, they simply said, “We would love to have your daughter relish our pastries.” In due course of time we started getting discounts on our orders.

We were grateful for their discounts and home delivery but we would have still gone back to them with or without the extras. We were impressed with the human touch they gave to their services, their core value of love and care through the customer service that they demonstrated.

“Do what you do so well that they will want to see it again and bring their friends.” – Walt Disney

Despite their irresistible pastries, their willingness to look beyond the revenue aspect and to provide selfless customer service earns them a special place in our hearts.

Isn’t it great when the work culture of an organization is as good as their products and services?

“One isn’t necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can’t be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest.” – Maya Angelou quotes

Ours was a private school and didn’t have the luxury of a large playground. So, we shared a playground with kids from other schools. They disliked us because they felt we were not supposed to be there.

It was one of those days when all of us were playing cricket and a few meters away were the other kids, also playing a loud form of cricket. There was tension in the air, as our team and theirs were playing side by side.

Suddenly, I hear a deafening silence. Our ball slipped into ‘their territory’ and we were not sure who would go and collect it from them. Finally, John, our class monitor, was left with the dirty job. John approached ‘the other kids’, who paused their game as their leader gestured for them to do so. Humbly, but bravely, he walked up to the leader of their group and said, “I am sorry to be interrupting your game. May I have our ball back please?” The response was as expected, a blunt ‘No’.

As a bonus, John was showered with a few adjectives in the local language. Not losing hope, John, despite our cautioning hisses, chose to insist, “Please don’t be angry. We will be careful henceforth. Please return our ball.”

One tight slap… that’s all we got to hear. John’s glasses were on the ground, covered with sand. Even before John could react, the other kids, along with their leader rushed out of the playground, taking our ball with them. John kneeled down to lift his broken glasses while we were still in absolute shock. Surprisingly, he then went looking for the other guy so he could try talking to him again, but in vain. John looked shaken but there was no fear in his face; soon he regained his calm composure…

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” – Ambrose Redmoon quotes

It would have been very easy for John to have retaliated in kind but he chose not to. He chose to believe in himself, his ability to discuss the issue and not in retaliation or one-upmanship.

While we didn’t have the nerve to stand up for ourselves, John faced our worst fear, and probably his too, without letting any of us down.

It is in adversity that one finds the shepherd emerge from the sheep.

Isn’t it this quality of ‘courage under pressure‘ that we would like our leaders to possess?

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

This scene is set in Chinnakkalpet on the southeast coast of India on December 26th 2004. Unsuspecting fishermen were returning with their daily catch, their kids playing along the shore while their mothers got to their daily chores. Little did they realize that the sea was going to embrace them all, in one giant leap, in a short while.

At 8.30am the Tsunami struck with a vengeance.

Dinakaran was the oldest of three children; he was 7 years old. His parents felt that he had the greatest chance for survival independently so they gathered up their two younger children and ran to safety. But the wave was too high and too quick for Dinakaran. Before he knew it he was being dragged into the depths of the sea. He tried to grab at the shrubs and the trees as the water pulled him with great force. He was exhausted and he resigned to death when suddenly he felt a bite on his shorts which penetrated into his skin. He thought it was a tree stump but for some reason it stemmed his flow into the sea. When he looked down to his utter amazement he noticed that he was being dragged back to the shore. His guardian angel was his dog, Selvakumar.

“Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day.” – Sally Koch

Do we have the courage that Selva displayed? Do we handle situations with always the thought, “What is in it for me?” Can we display the selflessness that this animal showed in rescuing his friend?”

Selva teaches us to do what we shy away from doing most of the time – to help without expectations. While we race to compete and excel in our lives, it is important that we pause for a second and lend a helping hand to those in need. We would be living in a better world if only we could criticize less, ridicule less, mock less and help more.

“The hands that help are far better than the lips that pray.” – Robert Green Ingersoll

The morning of June 12th 2010 started off uneventfully. I had not seen my dad for over a month and I waited in anticipation as I wanted to share some really exciting things with him. The day was not going fast enough for me. Suddenly the quiet was interrupted by the harsh ring of the telephone. For some uncanny reason the feeling of anticipation turned to fear. It was a call from one my relatives saying that he had just then seen the news of a bomb explosion on a railway track near Villupuram. In a flash I realized that my Dad was traveling to Chennai on that route. Time stood still…. Instinctively I called my father on his cell but call would not go through. The feeling fear elevated to one of horror. Stress overtook me and I found I was quickly incapable of all rational thinking. We just sat frozen as near the phone as possible.

About an hour later we got the much longed for news – dad was safe. Oblivious of all the confusion and tension that prevailed at home, my dad informed us that his train was right behind the one that bore the explosion. It was close call. I had always admired my dad for his amazing capability to stay calm in crisis. He did just that once again! He got down from the train, walked a kilometer to the nearest highway and boarded a bus to Chennai. He was not perturbed by the explosion rather he was grateful for his safety. I was reminded of this quote:

`Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.”-Corrie Ten Boom

I realized that there was so much I could have done – go to Villupuram (which is only 2 hours away), call the railway help line, send a text message to my dad’s phone….. and many other things that could have saved his life, if there was danger. This could have relieved us of a lot of heartache and tension. I think the moral of the story is that it is not the challenge that causes us the problem but the anxiety and stress generated in our mind.

No matter how tough the situation is, staying calm in a crisis is a key leadership quality in today global work environment.

Being a leadership coach I often have the privilege to be in the presence of future leaders. There is one question that I ask in every session, “Who is the leader that you emulate?” I get answers like, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela and disappointingly………… Hitler. It happens session after session.

Regardless of how consistently it happens, it still saddens me to think that mankind can see something remarkable in a human like Hitler. It takes me a while to reenter myself but after I do, I ask a simple question, “Are you aware of how Hitler died?” There is a pregnant silence after which they say, “Suicide.”

“Leadership is action, not position.” – Donald H. McGannon

After this awareness is created, the participants always reconsider their stance that Hitler is a leader to be emulated. I heave a sigh of relief; there is hope for mankind ………..

Being a leader is about asking the tough questions – it is not about providing the answers but it is about the asking the questions that stimulate thinking. It is about knowing that your opinions go through continuous change as you enhance your awareness and learning through your journey in life.

“A leader’s role is to raise people’s aspirations for what they can become and to release their energies so they will try to get there.” – David R. Gergen

On December 1, 1955, when a White person got into the bus, Rosa Parks, a 42 year old Black woman refused to give up her seat at the front of the bus and move to the back. Today the action seems simple but not in 1955, when black people were treated like slaves and second class citizens by the white people. This action created a major uproar and Rosa Parks was put in jail overnight. When in jail, she got up to get herself a glass of water and she was informed by the jail warden that the water fountain was only for white people. This was the straw that broke Rosa Parks’ back. She decided that she would do what it took, even at the risk of losing her own life, to attain liberty for Black people from this oppressive situation. She joined forces with Martin Luther King and was one of the key people responsible for the Civil Rights Movement which released the Black people to a life of freedom.

Now what would prompt a woman who was a seamstress in a local department store to take a brave stance of this magnitude? I think that she had a clear vision for success that was propelled by her passion. “A great leader’s courage to fulfill his vision comes from passion, not position.” John Maxwell quotes.

What Rosa Parks did was not an act that was planned with a specific personal objective. In fact, what she did was spontaneous, triggered by her quest for equality and her rejection of racial discrimination. The loss of a job or even the loss of her life didn’t deter her from continuing her quest for equality. Leadership takes courage – courage to step out of one’s comfort zone and explore unknown territory. Rosa Parks did just that.

Are you willing to constantly challenge yourself to go beyond what you think you are capable of?

Follow your dreams!

As the world celebrates Mother’s Day on the second Sunday of May every year, it is time we looked into what goes into the making of this symbol of pure love.

As a resort to understanding what makes mothers special, I realized that an important aspect of motherhood is communication.

Mothers teach children how to deal with everyday life. They teach children how to communicate. They are taught words and told when to listen. This amounts to verbal communication.

Mothers watch as their child draws the first doodle, and helps them to write while they are in school. They understand their child’s unspoken words and understand what it is going through. This amounts to non-verbal communication.

So in the end of it all, when you look at the whole concept of motherhood, you begin to realize that the epitome of effective communication essentially begins with the mother!

We wish all women a Happy Mother’s Day, and celebrate their ability to make a difference to tomorrow by being here today; for the countless opportunities and the infinite challenges that make them what they are!

“A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.”
~ Tenneva Jordan

Here is a humorous story that throws light on effective communication skills:

A man feared his wife could not hear as well as she used to and thought that she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he visited a doctor to discuss the problem. The doctor thought for a while and explained that he could perform a simple test to evaluate the extent of hearing loss.

That evening, the wife was in the kitchen cooking dinner when the husband came in. He thought to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see
what happens.” Then in a normal tone he asked, ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?”

No response.

So the husband moved to closer to the kitchen, about 20 feet from his
wife and repeats, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

There was still no response.

He then walked up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. “Honey, what’s
for dinner?”

Again there was no response.

As a last attempt, he walked right up behind her and asked, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

To which the wife answered, “Sam, for the fourth time, we are having CHICKEN!”

The learning point in this anecdote is easy to see – always consider closing any communication gap that may arise before coming to conclusions.

Communication gaps arise due to many factors. They may be extrinsic – like noise or clutter; they may be intrinsic – lack of focus or preconceived ideas. Always keep an open mind during any form of conversation and aim at reducing the impact of uncontrollable factors. By consciously taking the effort to indulge in effective conversation, you can really go a long way in forming better relationships in the workplace and in your personal life.

Abraham Lincoln is one of the most loved Presidents of the USA. He is an admired leader of the world for he always thought before he spoke. The incident given below highlights his thoughts on writing and the learning can be extended to helping you to improve business writing skills.

One day Lincoln’s Secretary of the Treasury Chase said, “Oh, I am so sorry that I did not write a letter to Mr. So-and-so before I left home!”

President Lincoln promptly responded:
“Chase, never regret what you don’t write; it is what you do write that you are often called upon to feel sorry for.”

(From Lincoln’s Yarns and Stories, by Colonel Alexander K. McClure)

A well thought, structured and concise mail or report is easier to read. It saves the reader a lot of precious time in today’s busy world. Lincoln’s seemingly simple response in this story has great meaning. You have to be careful of the words you speak – even more of the words that you write. You are responsible for what you have stated in your writing.

This gives you even more reason to ensure that you recheck the contents for its grammar, punctuation and flow of thought before delivering it to the intended recipients. A minute or two spent in rechecking this way would save you a lot of time, trouble and explanations later.

The bottom line is: Be aware of what you write and how you do so, since it has an impact on your image and career. Improving this aspect of your communication skills can go a long way in putting your career on the fast track.

We learn many valuable morals from the famous Aesop’s fables. I shall share my thoughts with respect to business communication with regards to the following fable today:

A crab and her child were walking down the beach one day. While doing so, the crab irately watched while the child strolled in a one-sided manner. She said, “Why don’t you walk in a straight manner? It is easier and more pleasing to the eye.”

The young crab replied, “Mother, if you could show me the straight way to walk, I promise I will follow you.”

The mother crab decided to show her child the right way. But as much as the crab tried, she could not walk straight. She finally realized that her child learnt to walk from her; all her effort was in vain, and that she should not have reprimanded her child without any basis.

In business communication, always ensure that you make educated statements about a subject – be it written communication or verbal communication. In other words, ensure that you are SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Timely) in what you say and deliver. By doing this, you can go a long way in paving the way for a successful career. This is because such individuals come across as those who can communicate effectively under all odds, are decisive and is consistent in thought and action.

Workplace communication skills are hence a cluster of intelligent thought, effective words and powerful actions.

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” ~ Stephen Covey