MMM Training Solutions

I heard a story yesterday that I wanted to share with the world. A group of salesmen were returning home after finalizing a multi-million dollar deal. The negotiations took longer than expected and they reached the airport without much time to spare. They grabbed their luggage and raced through the doors of the airport. In the rush, one of them caught the edge of an apple cart spilling the apples all over the sidewalk. However, even a moment’s delay would have caused them to miss the flight. They all continued without turning back.

The team heaved a sigh of relief when they got their boarding card and entered the flight. They were the last ones to enter and the air hostess moved to close the door. At that point one of them said, “Here is my wife’s number. Please inform her that I will be catching the next flight out. I have something important to do.” The puzzled co-workers did not get the time to question him before he ran out.

He wanted to ensure that the apples had been picked up. When he reached there, much to his amazement, very few of the apples had been gathered. People were rushing but no one seemed to notice the strewn apples. Suddenly he noticed the figure of a young girl, near the apple cart, huddled over and crying. He approached her and realized that she was about 16 years old and she was blind. She was the one who was selling the apples. She could not pick up the apples and was distraught. He was speechless. He reassured her that he would help her and started to collect the apples. A few of them had been damaged by the fall. He kept the damaged ones aside and stacked the good ones on the cart. Slowly the crying of the girl subsided.

After all the apples were picked up, he pulled out $40 as compensation for the damaged apples and handed it over to the girl. He apologized for his actions and started to walk away. All this time the girl had not said one word. In fact he wondered if she was mute as well.

After about 5 steps he heard a voice saying, “Excuse me sir. Are you Jesus?” Overwhelmed with emotion he did not turn back.

When I heard this story I was sad that no one had asked me this question till now.

Has anyone asked you this question? What have you done to deserve this honor? We would be delighted if you could share your story with us.  

“Do not stand on a high pedestal and take 5 cents in your hand and say, “here, my poor man”, but be grateful that the poor man is there, so by making a gift to him you are able to help yourself. It is not the receiver that is blessed, but it is the giver. Be thankful that you are allowed to exercise your power of benevolence and mercy in the world, and thus become pure and perfect.” –  Swami Vivekananda

In the movie ‘Pursuit of Happyness’ one of the characters wrote the word ‘Happiness’ on the wall but spelt it as ‘Happyness’. When questioned about using Y instead of I, he said that there should be no ‘I’ in Happyness there only should a ‘Y’. It took me a while to get the deeper meaning to the statement. After dwelling upon this for a while, I also agree that there should only be a ‘Y’. ‘Why is it so?’ I am sure you would wonder. Read on…………

Well let’s admit that there are metrics to measure just about every aspect of our lives – our money, our well being – physical health, emotional health, our success, economic security and now I’m told research and science is just a step away from measuring our life span as well.

Which brings me to a question – why are we scampering to collect metrics on these aspects? Does this indicate how happy we will be when we collate the information? Why do we need what we need – home, money, family, security, health?

A realization hit me one morning a few weeks ago as I was travelling to work – I had metrics to measure all the above aspects while I lacked any framework on measuring the single most powerful driving force – the desire to be happy.

Did I have reasons to be happy? I sure did – my husband was the tall handsome love of my life willing to support me in every possible way; I had two lovely children; I was a facilitator – cannot imagine doing anything else for a living; I had friends, family and my health…..

Then I started to ponder about the ‘Ys’ or ‘Whys’………..Why then was I snapping at the same people who I care about so deeply once too often? Why was getting dejected at the slightest setback-professional or personal? Why was I losing my temper too often and too easily? Is that how a happy person should react?

I thought long and thought hard and realized that if I could figure out the ‘Ys’ I could increase my feeling of happiness. Here are some of the changes I made in my life which resulted in me being a happier person:

1. Eat and sleep in time – science has enough evidence to prove this affects how happy we can be.
2. Hold on to your anger – Every irritation does not have to be aired as soon as you start to sense it – this only adds to bad feelings. Allow your irritation to dissipate a little and might be that as time passes you might feel that you need not air it at all.
3. Enjoy the fun of failure – People who are happy are the ones who dared to do things differently. As Shiv Khera says “Successful people don’t do different things, they do things differently.” Challenge yourself to learn and explore. Failure and success are mere byproducts – the satisfaction of having tried has no equal.
4. Money can buy happiness – Using your money to be closer to your loved ones, to buy products that will increase your efficiency and productivity – the list could be endless. Go ahead splurge wisely and make others and yourself happy.
5. Exercise to be happy – there is enough evidence to prove that even a ten minute walk can boost your mental and psychological health.
6. Let the second best be good enough – In life it may not be always possible to get the best – no point in fretting over choices available or choices made.
7. Give a thing only as much importance as it deserves – this is entirely from your life’s perspective and never from anyone else’s.
8. Act – Reflect on what will make you happier and take concrete steps to get closer to whatever makes you happy

This won’t take forever to garner and it is totally worth it!

 Where do the best learning’s take place – in schools? In colleges? At home? At work??

 Well the best learning takes place in a movie hall – specially when we watch movies of the animated kind – have you ever noticed how these creatures we call animals so beautifully mirror thoughts, actions, behavior, attitudes and morals as recorded in different faiths – they are perfect teachers – from whom we can glean a wealth of insights on human behavior.

 Animals for centuries have been used to depict life’s lessons and the inevitable truths in a magical way. For many decades now we have experiences this magic through animated films. These films inspire charm and teach in ways that live -people films, limited by shackles of reality, struggle to do.

 Let’s talk about Cinderella – Once the magic of the fairy tale wears off what life lessons are we left with to ponder over?

 Cinderella had a step mom who made the devil scurry home to finish his housework before he dared any devilry – what did she do about it? Did we ever hear her complain – not one whimper from those pretty lips. It is so commonplace to complain, lament and lash out at the world for our miseries – Cinderella was the epitome of quiet strength and beauty. Harsh treatment and harsher words did not deter her commitment to her responsibilities – heck she even made the most of her adversity by daring to dream.

 Cinderella teaches us an invaluable lesson – persist with the cards life has dealt you with and you will find gold at the end of the rainbow. It also teaches us the priceless worth of forgiveness – Beauty is a treasure but graciousness is truly priceless. If she could forgive her step sisters and step mother at the end of the story, we can surely try to forgive to build and further relationships.

 Persist..One day a prince will appear who will help us flourish into the princess we always were.

 Lots of hard work, a little patience and the clock striking twelve will definitely not turn our carriage back into a pumpkin!

“The idea is that leadership at its most fundamental is about moving people in a certain direction—usually through changing the direction of their thinking and their actions. And the way to do that is not necessarily by charging out front and saying, “Follow me,” but by empowering or pushing others to move forward ahead of you. It is through empowering others that we impart our own leadership or ideas. It is valuable in every arena of life.”
– From the book ‘Mandela’s way’ by Richard Stengel
When reading this quote I was reminded of an incident that Abdul Kalaam refers to when he talks about how he learnt to handle failures.
In 1973 Kalaam was given the responsibility to put India’s ‘Rohini’ satellite into orbit by 1980. The launch date was August 1979. Journalists from all over the world were present at ISRO’s satellite launch range to record this great event. The air was pregnant with anticipation. Everything seemed to be going according to plan. But suddenly, four minutes before the launch, the computers started to send out warnings recommending that the launch should be aborted. The team was puzzled. Kalaam conferred with his experts who reassured him that there was no reason for concern. Kalaam made the fateful decision to bypass the computer and proceed with the launch. In the first stage, everything worked fine. But shortly after, the satellite plunged into the Bay of Bengal.

Kalaam had no time to deal with his own feelings; he had the difficult job to face the unforgiving press. Just as he was bracing himself for this ordeal, Prof. Satish Dhawan, Kalaam’s boss told Kalaam that he will conduct the press conference himself. He took responsibility for the failure — he said that the team had worked very hard, but that it needed more technological support. He assured the media that in another year, the team would definitely succeed.

Kalaam was moved by two things – Dhawan’s willingness to take responsibility for the failure and also the immense trust that he had in Kalaam.

The next year, in July 1980, the satellite was successfully launched. The whole nation was jubilant. Again, there was a press conference. This time Prof. Dhawan asked Kalaam to conduct the press conference – Dhawan wanted Kalaam to be visible at the time of success.
Kalaam states that this was the most important management lesson that he has learned in his life – “How to lead from the back.”

I heard a story yesterday that I wanted to share with the world. A group of salesmen were returning home after finalizing a multi-million dollar deal. The negotiations took longer than expected and they reached the airport without much time to spare. They grabbed their luggage and raced through the doors of the airport. In the rush, one of them caught the edge of an apple cart spilling the apples all over the sidewalk. However, even a moment’s delay would have caused them to miss the flight. They all continued without turning back.

The team heaved a sigh of relief when they got their boarding card and entered the flight. They were the last ones to enter and the air hostess moved to close the door. At that point one of them said, “Here is my wife’s number. Please inform her that I will be catching the next flight out. I have something important to do.” The puzzled co-workers did not get the time to question him before he ran out.

He wanted to ensure that the apples had been picked up. When he reached there, much to his amazement, very few of the apples had been gathered. People were rushing but no one seemed to notice the strewn apples. Suddenly he noticed the figure of a young girl, near the apple cart, huddled over and crying. He approached her and realized that she was about 16 years old and she was blind. She was the one who was selling the apples. She could not pick up the apples and was distraught. He was speechless. He reassured her that he would help her and started to collect the apples. A few of them had been damaged by the fall. He kept the damaged ones aside and stacked the good ones on the cart. Slowly the crying of the girl subsided.

After all the apples were picked up, he pulled out $40 as compensation for the damaged apples and handed it over to the girl. He apologized for his actions and started to walk away. All this time the girl had not said one word. In fact he wondered if she was mute as well.

After about 5 steps he heard a voice saying, “Excuse me sir. Are you Jesus?” Overwhelmed with emotion he did not turn back.

When I heard this story I was sad that no one had asked me this question till now.

Has anyone asked you this question? What have you done to deserve this honor? We would be delighted if you could share your story with us.

“Do not stand on a high pedestal and take 5 cents in your hand and say, “here, my poor man”, but be grateful that the poor man is there, so by making a gift to him you are able to help yourself. It is not the receiver that is blessed, but it is the giver. Be thankful that you are allowed to exercise your power of benevolence and mercy in the world, and thus become pure and perfect.” –  Swami Vivekananda

It was raining very heavily and the little restaurant where I was having dinner was very crowded. All the tables were occupied and some hungry customers were waiting for their turn. Some children were crying as they had to wait and the harassed waiters were hurrying to serve the diners.

Amidst all this confusion there was one waiter called Chandran who was serving everyone with a smile. His communication skills were fairly advanced. He was serving each customer according to their need, carefully listening to each order, checking his understanding and then executing the order. But Chandran’s smile was short lived as very soon there was a huge commotion at one end of the restaurant. One angry diner had flung his plate across the room and was screaming at him.

All eyes turned to that part of the room. It was surprising to see that Chandran was involved in this situation. As a regular diner I had always admired Chandran for his skill at customer service. Always polite and quick to serve the customers, he was indeed very popular with everyone. In fact he had also very recently received the “Employee of the Month” award from his employers. So what was going wrong?

The customer was actually accusing Chandran of physically assaulting his little son. The manager rushed to the spot and, after pacifying the customer, got to the bottom of the issue. Most of the people around also had seen Chandran drag the little boy across the room but what was Chandran’s version?

Then we came to the final truth. Unnoticed by the parents the little boy was playing with a fan that was kept nearby. As Chandran was passing by he noticed that the child was pushing his fingers dangerously close to the fan. Chandran quickly dragged him away from danger. A moment’s delay would have had dire consequences. Instead of thanking him these parents were shouting at him!

The attitude displayed in this situation reminded me of something that I had recently read:

“And so it is with life. What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look.” – Author Unknown

When we look through a dirty window the world outside looks dirty and when we clean the window and look through it, the world outside is a beautiful world. The window we look through is really the perception we have of people and situations.

If only those parents could clean their window and look at the situation. Instead of shouting at him they would be thanking him for saving their little boy!

“We see the world not as is but as we are. By improving, refining, and defining who we are, we see the world from the highest, most enlightened perspective”.

- Robin Sharma in Leadership Wisdom

Sandra stood up one more time and pat came the reply… this time louder than before, she was correct as always.  “Oh Sandra… Oh Sandra, not again”, I groaned to myself. The trainer in me could not allow this to happen.

Sandra was a participant in a customer service training session. She was a very intelligent and extremely confident lady.  She handled even the most complicated questions with ease. Her enthusiasm was initially infectious; however, as the day progressed it became burdensome to the others. As the facilitator, I set some firm limits but she paid no heed to them.

As the leader of her team was she displaying good leadership traits?

“The real leader has no need to lead – he is content to point the way.” – Henry Miller

Half way through the session I was forced to give her some very direct and open feedback. She was not allowing any one to learn and in the process not learning herself. Her behavior was disrupting the session and demoralizing the others.

I also spent time with her alone and sensitized the need for her to change her attitude and behavior. Although she broke down once, she took all the feedback very bravely.

“Truly great leaders spend as much time collecting and acting upon feedback as they do providing it.” – Alexander Lucia.

She started allowing others to speak and gradually started giving more understanding and gaining respect. By personal example she proved her love for her team by acting upon the feedback. She implemented the suggestions given to her as feedback…

And so was born a Leader who understood Leadership as pointing the way.

January 2006, it was a severe winter in the United Kingdom. There were spells of snow and rain combined with sleet showers. It was my friend, Vikram’s, first trip out of India. He was overawed by the hustle and bustle of London as he made his way to the famous London Tube station to go to Cardiff in South Wales.

It was the peak hour of a weekday and at the station the trains were spilling over with people. He was one of the last to get into the train and before he could pull in the second suitcase, the door closed.

The suitcase was left on the platform and train began to move. The panic set in and the fear of losing his valuables in a new place began to control his senses. He agonizingly saw his suitcase left in the platform as the train moved past it swiftly. It took him about 3 to 4 minutes to recover from the shock. As soon as this happened he realized he could get down in the next station and ask for help.

Vikram knew that any unattended baggage would be destroyed immediately due to security reasons and so he got down and informed one of the stewards of what happened and asked for help. While taking down the details of the baggage the steward noticed the tension on Vikram’s face so he gave him a seat and comforted him. Then Vikram had an agonizing wait for a status update.

The suspense lasted for about 15 minutes. A Lady walked up to him and asked him to identify his baggage she had. The lady, a steward from the previous station was extra courteous understanding Vikram’s anxiety. My friend was so happy and his joy knew no bounds when he was handed over the suitcase. He repeatedly thanked all the stewards.

“The secret to success is to treat all customers as if your world revolves around them.” – Leadership Tools

What followed this incident was the exception. The tube train in which the steward traveled was still parked in the station waiting to leave. Vikram asked the steward if he could board the train. Much to his shock she said, “The train has been waiting for you to board all the while.”

Isn’t it important that we disregard limitations and go the extra mile to ensure that our customers have a positive life changing experience?

”As far as customers are concerned you are the company. This is not a burden, but the core of your job. You hold in your hands the power to keep customers coming back – perhaps even to make or break the company.” Unknown

“One isn’t necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can’t be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest.” – Maya Angelou quotes

Ours was a private school and didn’t have the luxury of a large playground. So, we shared a playground with kids from other schools. They disliked us because they felt we were not supposed to be there.

It was one of those days when all of us were playing cricket and a few meters away were the other kids, also playing a loud form of cricket. There was tension in the air, as our team and theirs were playing side by side.

Suddenly, I hear a deafening silence. Our ball slipped into ‘their territory’ and we were not sure who would go and collect it from them. Finally, John, our class monitor, was left with the dirty job. John approached ‘the other kids’, who paused their game as their leader gestured for them to do so. Humbly, but bravely, he walked up to the leader of their group and said, “I am sorry to be interrupting your game. May I have our ball back please?” The response was as expected, a blunt ‘No’.

As a bonus, John was showered with a few adjectives in the local language. Not losing hope, John, despite our cautioning hisses, chose to insist, “Please don’t be angry. We will be careful henceforth. Please return our ball.”

One tight slap… that’s all we got to hear. John’s glasses were on the ground, covered with sand. Even before John could react, the other kids, along with their leader rushed out of the playground, taking our ball with them. John kneeled down to lift his broken glasses while we were still in absolute shock. Surprisingly, he then went looking for the other guy so he could try talking to him again, but in vain. John looked shaken but there was no fear in his face; soon he regained his calm composure…

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” – Ambrose Redmoon quotes

It would have been very easy for John to have retaliated in kind but he chose not to. He chose to believe in himself, his ability to discuss the issue and not in retaliation or one-upmanship.

While we didn’t have the nerve to stand up for ourselves, John faced our worst fear, and probably his too, without letting any of us down.

It is in adversity that one finds the shepherd emerge from the sheep.

Isn’t it this quality of ‘courage under pressure‘ that we would like our leaders to possess?

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

This scene is set in Chinnakkalpet on the southeast coast of India on December 26th 2004. Unsuspecting fishermen were returning with their daily catch, their kids playing along the shore while their mothers got to their daily chores. Little did they realize that the sea was going to embrace them all, in one giant leap, in a short while.

At 8.30am the Tsunami struck with a vengeance.

Dinakaran was the oldest of three children; he was 7 years old. His parents felt that he had the greatest chance for survival independently so they gathered up their two younger children and ran to safety. But the wave was too high and too quick for Dinakaran. Before he knew it he was being dragged into the depths of the sea. He tried to grab at the shrubs and the trees as the water pulled him with great force. He was exhausted and he resigned to death when suddenly he felt a bite on his shorts which penetrated into his skin. He thought it was a tree stump but for some reason it stemmed his flow into the sea. When he looked down to his utter amazement he noticed that he was being dragged back to the shore. His guardian angel was his dog, Selvakumar.

“Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day.” – Sally Koch

Do we have the courage that Selva displayed? Do we handle situations with always the thought, “What is in it for me?” Can we display the selflessness that this animal showed in rescuing his friend?”

Selva teaches us to do what we shy away from doing most of the time – to help without expectations. While we race to compete and excel in our lives, it is important that we pause for a second and lend a helping hand to those in need. We would be living in a better world if only we could criticize less, ridicule less, mock less and help more.

“The hands that help are far better than the lips that pray.” – Robert Green Ingersoll