MMM Training Solutions

I heard a story yesterday that I wanted to share with the world. A group of salesmen were returning home after finalizing a multi-million dollar deal. The negotiations took longer than expected and they reached the airport without much time to spare. They grabbed their luggage and raced through the doors of the airport. In the rush, one of them caught the edge of an apple cart spilling the apples all over the sidewalk. However, even a moment’s delay would have caused them to miss the flight. They all continued without turning back.

The team heaved a sigh of relief when they got their boarding card and entered the flight. They were the last ones to enter and the air hostess moved to close the door. At that point one of them said, “Here is my wife’s number. Please inform her that I will be catching the next flight out. I have something important to do.” The puzzled co-workers did not get the time to question him before he ran out.

He wanted to ensure that the apples had been picked up. When he reached there, much to his amazement, very few of the apples had been gathered. People were rushing but no one seemed to notice the strewn apples. Suddenly he noticed the figure of a young girl, near the apple cart, huddled over and crying. He approached her and realized that she was about 16 years old and she was blind. She was the one who was selling the apples. She could not pick up the apples and was distraught. He was speechless. He reassured her that he would help her and started to collect the apples. A few of them had been damaged by the fall. He kept the damaged ones aside and stacked the good ones on the cart. Slowly the crying of the girl subsided.

After all the apples were picked up, he pulled out $40 as compensation for the damaged apples and handed it over to the girl. He apologized for his actions and started to walk away. All this time the girl had not said one word. In fact he wondered if she was mute as well.

After about 5 steps he heard a voice saying, “Excuse me sir. Are you Jesus?” Overwhelmed with emotion he did not turn back.

When I heard this story I was sad that no one had asked me this question till now.

Has anyone asked you this question? What have you done to deserve this honor? We would be delighted if you could share your story with us.  

“Do not stand on a high pedestal and take 5 cents in your hand and say, “here, my poor man”, but be grateful that the poor man is there, so by making a gift to him you are able to help yourself. It is not the receiver that is blessed, but it is the giver. Be thankful that you are allowed to exercise your power of benevolence and mercy in the world, and thus become pure and perfect.” –  Swami Vivekananda

Sandra stood up one more time and pat came the reply… this time louder than before, she was correct as always.  “Oh Sandra… Oh Sandra, not again”, I groaned to myself. The trainer in me could not allow this to happen.

Sandra was a participant in a customer service training session. She was a very intelligent and extremely confident lady.  She handled even the most complicated questions with ease. Her enthusiasm was initially infectious; however, as the day progressed it became burdensome to the others. As the facilitator, I set some firm limits but she paid no heed to them.

As the leader of her team was she displaying good leadership traits?

“The real leader has no need to lead – he is content to point the way.” – Henry Miller

Half way through the session I was forced to give her some very direct and open feedback. She was not allowing any one to learn and in the process not learning herself. Her behavior was disrupting the session and demoralizing the others.

I also spent time with her alone and sensitized the need for her to change her attitude and behavior. Although she broke down once, she took all the feedback very bravely.

“Truly great leaders spend as much time collecting and acting upon feedback as they do providing it.” – Alexander Lucia.

She started allowing others to speak and gradually started giving more understanding and gaining respect. By personal example she proved her love for her team by acting upon the feedback. She implemented the suggestions given to her as feedback…

And so was born a Leader who understood Leadership as pointing the way.

Assertiveness is the inclination to boldly or confidently assert oneself and be self-assured. This article is written keeping in mind all those who find their heart racing whenever they have to stand up for what they believe is right. It is for those who experience butterflies in the stomach when they come face-to-face with an instance that required them to say NO.

In this blog, I give you 3 basic pointers that will show how you can be assertive in a diplomatic manner and gain the respect of those you interact with on a daily basis.

1. Know When:

Knowing when to be assertive takes you a step closer towards where you want to be. This means that there are various instances when you would be able to accommodate the demands or requests of others when they ask for your time, effort or other vital resources. Ask yourself, “Will the extra amount of effort I put in affect me adversely or dampen my productivity?” If the answer is yes, you will need to think about whether you can prioritize your own tasks. If your answer to this is a no, you just have to prepare yourself to assert yourself and gently turn down the request.

2. Know How:

Knowing how to assert can be brought to near-perfection with practise. Take a deep breath and give the request a second thought. While speaking, ensure that your voice is calm and that your tone is not aggressive. Keep your body language stiff. Cut to the chase – once you say no, appear empathetic if you must. But do not wriggle out of the uncomfortable situation with a meek “maybe” as a final answer. This sends confused signals to the receiver, and the whole exercise of assertiveness proves to be futile.

This maybe difficult at first, but with practise you will get better. The best method is to practise in front of the mirror for about a minute or two before you start the day. You can even practise with the help of a close friend. In this way, you would be able to be assertive even if taken by surprise, which normally is the case.

3. Know Why:

Last, but definitely not the least, knowing why you are being assertive is an important confidence booster and image enhancer. By being assertive the right way, you are only asking for fair and equal treatment. On the other side, you should understand that it is appropriate for you to be assertive ONLY if you believe that the request would unfairly consume your resources.

Now that you have read the above 3 points, internalize the ideas and apply them. Being more assertive helps increase your circle of influence, and if done correctly, can take you to heights that you had only dreamt of till now.

For more ideas on assertiveness, visit our free power point presentation on Conflict Resolution.

On 5th July, 2009 Roger Federer recreated magic by the epic win of his sixth Wimbledon Crown and a record 15th Grand Slam Trophy. The 27 year old Swiss is now honoured with the title of being the most successful man in tennis.

Federer had been in the news earlier because of the fact that he did not have a coach. At a time when he was struggling in his career, tennis experts had a unified view that he needed to be coached. But Federer’s deep understanding of himself helped him to realize that his stubborn professional personality would not yield easily to being under the authority of a coach. This fact, however, did not deter him from achieving his aim. He single-mindedly focused on being the best; and now, after surpassing former champion Pete Sampras’ record of the highest Grand Slam Trophy holder, Federer has proved that he is the best, beyond a shadow of doubt.

What is the secret behind Roger Federer’s success?

This is a question that can be answered by anyone who knows Federer. Most of this success can be owed to his undeniable grit and sheer determination in the game, which allowed him to strategize and formulate his moves in the final match at Wimbledon against Andy Roddick. Brilliant that he is at tennis, his resounding success would not have been possible unless he put in undivided focused energy towards his goal.

Federer has shown that life is a journey with cobbles along the way, but what makes the difference is the manner in which these are perceived – they are either tripping stones to failure, or stepping stones to success.

MMM Training Solutions congratulates Roger Federer, Wimbledon Champion 2009, for his persistence, positive outlook in life and never say die attitude; all of which has given him the glory that the world now applauds.